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Playing It Safe - Supporting Children Through Frightening Situations

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Young children may see or hear about events happening in their community or in the world that they don't understand. Children depend on the adults in their lives for an interpretation of the events as well as reassurance, calmness, and comforting.

Fear is a natural reaction to an event or situation that all of us feel from time to time. According to Professor Dave Riley of the UW-Extension, "Children do not have an automatic fear response to news reports." Further, he states that "[children] look primarily to the adults around them for cues on which emotional response to adopt. If their parents and teachers are calm, then children will respond with calm also." In an unsettling or scary situation, adults can soothe young children simply by remaining composed and offering comfort to the children in their care. Letting children know that they are safe with you is another key step to easing their fears. Helping children learn how to respond to scary or sad situations is an enormous task having lifelong effects. Every scary situation in a child's life gives parents, caregivers, grandparents and others the chance to teach children appropriate and fitting responses to life's events.

Adults can support children's emotional understanding and development in many ways.

• Make time to talk with children. Let them have a hand in guiding the discussion.
• Validate children's feelings. Tell your child that you hear and understand that s/he is sad, confused, happy, surprised or scared.
• Validate children's feelings. Tell your child that you hear and understand that s/he is sad, confused, happy, surprised or scared.
• Use words, phrases and concepts that are at that child's developmental level. Answer children's questions honestly, but don't offer additional information that they are not yet ready to understand or respond to.
• Read books with children which depict characters who show a range of emotions, and a range of responses to the emotions. Talk about the book with your child and ask your child open ended questions concerning the character's responses.

Parents and Caregivers can find additional resources and information
at the sites listed below:

The American Academy of Pediatrics www.aap.org
The Parent Center www.theparentcenter.org
American Psychiatric Association www.psych.org
Children's Defense Fund www.childrensdefense.org
NAEYC www.naeyc.org

Resources:

"Helping Our Children Respond to Televised Horrors" - Dave Riley,
UW-Extension, Madison.
September 2001.

"Talking With Children When Disaster Strikes" - David Walsh, PhD.
September 2001.